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Sexy Spirituality

Sep 10, 2018

Sexy Spirituality podcast Episode 2:

Speaking to Your Ego: Friend or Foe?

Sonia Byrne

  • The term ego comes from the work of pioneering psychologist Sigmund Freud.  The ego was considered a mediator between the id (pure desire) and the super-ego (the moral part of the self). 
  • When we speak in common language about ego, we're more likely to be speaking of someone who is boastful or conceited.  
  • The ego gets a bad rap for two reasons.  First, it's used to put people down.  It can be used in a judgmental way, as in, "He's being egotistcal."
  • Secondly, we're being egotistical when we talk about ourselves a lot, creating an unbalanced conversation. 
  • The ego can be our friend, because it is the place of recognizing and celebrating the great things about ourselves.


Roundtable with Lezli Goodwin & Kimjera Whittington

  • It can be interesting trying to strike a balance between knowing and claiming our worth but not sliding into the part of the ego that is fear-based. 
  • It can create a sense of shame when we feel like we shouldn't get too big for our britches, and that can force us into going to one extreme or the other: total humility or egotistical.
  • It's all about perspective!  We can lean into the strength of the ego to help us be brave enough to step into new things (like putting this podcast out!) as opposed to using the ego to shield ourselves from something we are afraid is wrong with us, to pretend to be something that we're not or to put down others so we can feel bigger.
  • We need to have a value check-in, because we know when we are using that ego to diminish someone else to make ourselves feel better.  It's not pretty, but it's real!
  • Ego challenges can show up when we are taking on new roles, like stepping away from a job to be a stay-at-home mom or starting a new business.  It can be bruising when we don't always feel like we're doing a great job.
  • It's helpful to be conscious and question why we are feeling how we are feeling.  Are we reacting to a wounded ego? Just knowing what's going on can save us so much heartache.
  • Fear of the ego can keep us from celebrating our accomplishments, like promotions at work, because we don't want to seem boastful or egotistical.  But it's important to celebrate our successes as well as those of others.
  • We hold ourselves back and play small, but it doesn't serve us or the people around us.
  • As women, it's an extra challenge to develop those leadership skills and willingness to own our worth without tipping over to the place where we are judging or diminishing others.
  • An essential piece of this is allowing people, even our children, to define success for themselves.  It's a protection against that need to tip into the negative part of ego and helps us to keep it postive. 


Quote of the Episode

"We play small in order to help people not feel small, but the truth is if we life ourselves up and we act in our wholeness and in our perfection of who we are -- even in the workplace -- then what we actually create is an opportunity for other people to then do the same in their lives."  Kimjera


Tell Us Something Good!


I just launched an Entrepreneur Business Coaching Program.  If you're a female entrepreneur and you're ready to take your passion and turn it into a viable six-figure income, I want to support you in making your dream a reality! You can find all the details at 


I have created a class called "Business and Branding: A Spiritual Entrepreneurship Program for Practitioner Success" with Lezli.  This six-module course will help spiritual practitioners learn the business and marketing skills needed to shine their light more brightly into the world.  Class starts September 27 and meets online via Zoom technology.  Your can learn more and register at 


I'm offering an online class to help people to deepen into their prayer life. "Transform Your Life with Affirmative Prayer" has something for you, whether you are brand new to affirmative prayer or you are a practitioner looking to strengthen your prayer skills. This is a video-based class, so you can take it at your own pace. Learn more and register at


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